Just one of Those Days...

Injury rehab is so emotionally draining, and this is by far the biggest one and the longest timeline I've had to battle with. I lost it last night because shit just wasn't going well at football practice. Any sort of resistance - be it hands or a push back - and I just couldn't hold a drive block to save my life. It's so humbling and frustrating and embarrassing - I used to be good at this sport and now I feel so far from where I was. Forget improving this season - I will be lucky if I am the same player I was last year. That is a difficult feeling to come to terms with and as the first game looms every closer (10 days today) the reality eats at me all the more. I'm about 50/50 to even play in that game and that 50% requires a whole lot of improvement to come in the next week as it relates to driving out off my toes. Some days I just get really tired of always being in some kind of pain. I'm transitioning more from joint-specific pain to stabilizer pain, which is good news in terms of making progress but sucks in terms of feeling general muscle fatigue all the time. I'm taking a forced rest day today because I need to let the muscles in my calf and foot simmer down. My foot sweats non-stop. It's kind of gross. If I have my socks off because I'm doing stabilization or mobilization or whatever, I leave sweat footprints in the carpet. Pretty hot, I know. I did back squat 135 for 5 last night - my depth (in oly shoes) was actually rock bottom, so that was cool. I noticed today that my talus is tracking way better and I am getting some calf strength back, such that I can get up on my toes both easier and higher than last week. So I mean, progress, just never the progress that I want. Skipping is truly terrible. I favour my left leg over my right and can't string together more than like five jumps. Embarrassing. Lateral hurdle jumps are better than forward, but neither are great. I can't successfully jump backwards over a 6" hurdle (which is a huge piss off).