Injury

I've had a lot of random injuries over the last few years. After having plantar fasciitis, ignoring it, having achilles tendonitis (and ignoring that too) and subsequently needing to take about six months off CrossFit before it actually felt better (and playing pretty much a full season of hockey in pain and unable to take a full stride) I learned my lesson about ignoring pain.

Ironically, this didn't end my bouts with random injuries. My achilles started getting better last March/April, when I got orthotics (I now don't use the orthotics, but that's another story). I was back at CrossFit and started off my hockey season not in pain. It was great. Then in November I was playing indoor soccer (my first game, actually) and another player ran through my leg along the boards. This was one of the few times that my incredibly tight muscles were of benefit to me, as my physio believed the tightness of my quad saved my ACL. Instead, I tore my meniscus and part of my quad in my left leg. I missed about three weeks of hockey and from there played in varying degrees of pain for the rest of the season. I returned to CrossFit in February (three months off). Man did I suck. One of our trainers, Jonny, told me it would probably take me as long as I was off to get my leg back to where it should be. That was probably an accurate statement as it wasn't until May that I started feeling comfortable with many movements again (pretty much any squat).

I've been trying to treat my body right and stay injury free, so my frustration level was pretty high that I've managed to get injured once again. We were breaking out of our zone in ball hockey and our centre tossed the ball up so I was trying to run onto it. Running, running, running, PAIN. I haven't actually felt that much pain from an injury before. I tried to put weight on it and it was excruciating. Thankfully the physio who also happens to go to SPARK had an opening the next day. A few needles later and I could at least limp along and we had confirmed that I hadn't done any structural damage to my knee. Instead, it was my quad and hamstring.

Fast forward a week and I'm walking a lot better and regaining range of motion every day. Laurie encouraged me to keep working out while it was healing and work within what I can do. This has meant a lot of rowing. I can't really do our dynamic warm up, or ladder work, or speed work, so while everyone else is warming up I'm typically rowing about 3k. If there's running in a WOD, that's more rowing. Lunges have been subbed for squats. Pull ups I've been doing on the shorter bar so that I don't hurt myself jumping down (which is annoying as I'm just tall enough that I can really kip into another pull up on the short bar without catching my feet on the ground, so my pull ups are pretty much one at a time). I've been able to do all the other movements that have come up. There's been a few comments about maybe taking time off instead of coming, but I would rather go and do what I can. It takes me a long time to get into a habit, but it really does not take me any time at all to break one. I'm used to doing 5-6 workouts a week. If I stop, I'll get used to doing none just as easily and then have to break that habit.

Not to mention that I don't want to take six steps back again. It's bad enough that I can't lift right now (particularly considering that I bought a membership at an Oly gym the day before I injured myself) but I don't want to give up everything. And finally, when I don't go to SPARK I miss the people. The community there is really great, and being around the people makes me laugh, smile, and generally helps me to just unwind. It's a great stress release, and I don't want to lose that either.

I didn't mean to sound like that...

I contracted a case of whiny bitch-itis yesterday, and I'm not proud of it.

As I may have stated before, I am not a strong runner. In fact, every time those fated letters, "R-U-N" rear their ugly heads on the whiteboard, I pretty much resign myself to the back-of-the-pack. Actually, let's be really honest - I prepare myself for a battle wherein I fight valiantly to not be last.

Does it matter if I'm last? No, not really? It's not like everyone waits by the door to point, laugh, and kick me in the ass. But it's part of that same competitive nature that has you checking the board when you get to the gym, curious how everyone did in the morning on the WOD (or how everyone in the classes after you fared on yesterday's WOD). It's hard to claim that times don't matter when we time everything in the first place, and then go the extra step and write it down. But anyways, times on running WODs matter to me just a little bit more, if only because my pride would love it if I wasn't always huffing and puffing my way in miles behind everyone else.

And based on this wonderous pride of mine, the bitchitis reared itself.

The WOD was similar to yesterday - we had one 800m run, two 400m runs, and four 250m runs. Rest 3min after the 800m, 2min after the 400s and 1min after the 250s. For added fun, we had to do five squats at 80-85% of our 5RM before every run.

I found my way to the back of the pack right off the bat as my squats in the first round were hella slow. But, by the end of the second 400m, I had actually caught up to a few people. This is where things went awry. Instead of taking the 2min rest, a few took 1min. And I got mad, because all of the sudden I was back in the back for a reason that had nothing to do with my running. And I bitched. And as it came out I felt stupid and wished that I could cram it back inside, but my word vomit was already splashed across my little space.

It's a good reminder that I need to be there for me, not anyone else. I need to focus on myself. There's a way to be competitive and want to be better and achieve more that doesn't result in coming off like a petulant child. I'd love to say that running brought out the worst in me, but I can't blame it on running. I bring out the worst in me when I do dumb shit, and that's really what it all comes down to.

Goals (Mostly) Accomplished

We're not quite at the end of June, but it's fast approaching. Also, I've achieved everything I'm going to achieve this month, so here we go:

GOALS FOR JUNE:
* 5 toes to bar
* 1 dead hang pull up
* 1 handstand push up
* 2x400m runs every time that I'm at SPARK
* Alternate dead hang practice and handstand work each time at SPARK
* Get back off the Diet Coke bandwagon (sadly...)

I can now do 5 toes-to-bar (and knees-to-elbows, which for some reason I find more difficult!). I successfully pulled off 2 (!!) dead hang pull ups yesterday, and one handstand push up (although it wasn't strict; I made my way down and kipped my way back up). Since I didn't specify how I achieved said HSPU, so I will declare that one a victory.

I fell off the 400m run bandwagon. This is probably a combination of the rain and my hatred of running. I really do need to get on this one, though. My hatred of running isn't making my running any stronger.

I've been doing well at alternating dead hang and handstand work, so that's been a victory.

And I'm off Diet Coke. And no longer feeling the ill effects of caffeine addiction/withdrawal. I'm trying to be pretty careful about what I do consume so that I don't end up accidentally throwing myself back off. I'm not missing Diet Coke as much as I'm conditioned to expect to drink it in certain situations (going out to eat, etc.). It's actually been pretty interesting to consider these habits more than anything else. I've been drinking a lot of carbonated water/seltzer water/mineral water, as I really do like bubbles and I've found this to be a more than adequate replacement.

I'm trying to decide what my goals are going to be for July. I'm off work for the entire month, so I definitely have a lot more time to play around with and I'm trying to decide what I want to do with that time. I know Becky and I had talked about maybe doing a powerlifting meet in August, and if that's the case, I may go heavy for the month. If we're not doing the PL meet, I might try to build a better cardio base in July. I wouldn't mind doing some cycling, and I guess I should, as mentioned, probably throw in some running *sigh*.

Speaking of running - tonight at SPARK is supposedly a running WOD. In fact, from what I understand, it's yesterday's workout, except with running instead of rowing. Yesterday was:
* 1000m row (rest 3min)
* 2 x 500m row (rest 2 min between each)
*4 x 250m row (rest 1 min between each)

I am absolutely DREADING this as a running WOD. I did quite well on it as a rowing WOD, but sadly my work on the erg does not translate in any way to running. :(

Week 1 Down

Been a crazy week. This one should also be pretty busy, but then I'm on vacation for a long-ass time, so I'll take it.

I'm officially a week off of Diet Coke, and with it, caffeine. I think I'm rounding the bend in terms of withdrawal symptoms. Lethargy was one of the biggest ones; even getting 8+ hours of sleep each night, I would wake up groggy. I think I napped on the couch before Fran last week. I wanted to nap on the couch far more nights, but I didn't have the time! Irritability wasn't too bad, but I realized it was there the day that it took way too long for service at a Boston Pizza and I was ready to blow shit up. Apathy was probably my number one symptom; I dragged myself to work and to SPARK, but everything else was a challenge. We ate out a lot last week.

Biggest challenge was probably going to the movies, which we went to on Friday and Saturday. We buy the ticket packages at Costco (well, Saturday we found a coupon in a puddle, but I digress), and they include popcorn and a drink. I ended up drinking iced tea (not paleo, I know, but at least no caffeine) because I didn't want to just not get a drink at all. Thankfully we don't go to a billion movies. :)

It was an interesting week at SPARK. After Fran, I kept waiting for something medium/heavy and legs oriented, and it never really came. Burpees reared their ugly head a couple times.

I was pretty unhappy with my performance on Wednesday. It was an AMRAP with double unders and burpees. The shorts I wore were too big and kept falling down, which messed me up on my double unders. Even when they were up I couldn't get a good rhythm, and I only pulled out 11.5 rounds.

Thursday was all rowing. Really didn't expect that, but I managed to beat my rabbit by 2 seconds on each of the four rows (two 1000s and two 500s). I think my rabbit must have been tired, because the last time we did rowing, she smoked me. My 1000s were 3:52 and 3:54 and my 500s were 1:52 and 1:54. By the time we got to the 500s I was cramping in my legs, which showed in my times. My best 500 is 1:43, and I'd really like to get 1:40 at some point.

Friday was one of the most hellacious workouts I have done in recent memory at SPARK. It was a BEAST. It was a partner WOD, but fun Friday forgot the fun part! It was a chipper of 100 body rows, 150 box jumps, 200 groiners, 250 AMSU and 300 squats that you and your partner had to get to (didn't matter if one person finished more reps than the other). One partner would go and run a half burpee-suicide, with 3 burpees at each line. While they were running, the other partner would chip. Continue this for 39:10 and that was our WOD. My partner saved my ass on the groiners. 100%.

Saturday was a deadlift/dip couplet. 5 deads @ 185# and then 15 dips (it was 10 unassisted, 20 on the boxes; I did 15 on the bar, but with a purple band for assistance). The deads were really easy for me (maybe 20 seconds, tops), so the workout pretty much felt like non-stop dips.

I gave a go at fixing my kip on Saturday as well. This was actually kind of anticlimactic as I just focused on not dying at the bottom and all of the sudden I was stringing pull ups together. I got a set of 12. My previous best was five, so I was pretty excited. I'm going to keep working my dead hangs because really, they've done more for my kipping pull ups than anything else ever has!

Sunday we got up close and personal with a kettlebell. There was a five burpee penalty for each time you put the kettlebell down over the course of the five round WOD. We did overhead squats with the kettlebell for the first time I can remember, and man were they hard! Holding a 35# kettlebell overhead in one hand and trying to squat is toooough.

I played around with a couple lifts after class, just seeing where I could get to. I got a 150# front squat, which actually came up pretty easily, so I figured I might be able to get 160. I couldn't get it in a comfortable rack though (apparently I have a bruise on my right shoulder!) and got stuck in the hole. I'll probably give it another try in a few days. After bailing out my front squat, I played around with power cleans and jerks. I was pleased to discover that I can now power clean 135# with no issues. I used to end up in a deep knee bend to catch it, but now I can power it up. My jerk still needs a lot of work. I "jerked" 135, but it was more of a push press. I cleaned 145, but my crappy jerk form ensured that one didn't get overhead. I need to do some jerk drills and then I think 145 would be easy to get.

Progress and Fran

Today started off with an ominous Facebook post from SPARK about today's WOD, calling it an "old favorite". These ominous posts always freak me out because I know it's inevitable that Murph is going to show up sometime this summer and dammit, I'm not ready yet! I really want to be at my goal weight so that it's plausible that I do it fully Rx'ed - vest and all. Last time I did it (two years ago) I was Rx-no vest and I want the full deal.

Although realistically, if I put the vest on now, my weight would be less than where I started at the end of March, because I am officially over 20 pounds down. 21.4 to be exact, putting me just over halfway to my goal weight (20 pounds to go). I finally stepped on the scale this morning as a step towards ensuring I get back to being a bit stricter with my paleo. I had gotten very frustrated with weighing myself because unlike the first month of paleo, the weight wasn't pouring off. So I took a break from it, lest I become super obsessive and angry all the time. The problem with this, however, is that the longer I went without weighing myself, the more paranoid I got that I was actually gaining substantial amounts, thus making me not wanting to get back on the scale. Repeat x infinity. So, it was nice to know that my three week break from the scale didn't kill me, and I'm back on there 3 pounds lighter. I'm hoping that the great Diet Coke banishment, a stricter paleo diet (I've cheated a lot in the last while) and better sleep will help speed my loss up a bit more.

Speaking of Diet Coke banishment, this is day three. The wise internet tells me that caffeine withdrawal can last anywhere from two to nine days, so I may have less than a week to gut that out. I had a bit of a headache this morning, but not too bad (I've had worse coming off of caffeine before). Sluggishness has been my main issue so far. I was sleepy as all hell most of the day, and felt like I had to be super alert in the car this morning to make up for feeling out of sorts. I had trouble sleeping last night, which sucked. Hoping tonight's sleep is better. Last up is apathy/lethargy; I got through the WOD, and took the dog to the park, but actually having to cook dinner? Forget about it. That's why they have the pre-made meatloaf and salad in a bag at the grocery store.

Note to self: remember how much caffeine affects you (and ANYONE) before jumping back on this bandwagon again.

Finally - WOD. As mentioned, Fran reared her head today. It's been so long since I did Fran, I'm pretty sure last time I wasn't Rx'ed. I debated earlier today whether or not to Rx and decided to suck it up and go, with my goal being to come in under 10:00. The worst part was probably trying to do my pull ups on the S2 stand instead of on the pull up rig. At 5'8", I can stand flat footed on the ground and grip the bar, making it a little too short to get into my kip and cycle through pull ups (not that I can cycle that many). The nice thing was being able to easily get on and off the bar, and I actually like the coating on the S2 a ton better than the rig (I didn't need near as much chalk). Anyways, at the end of the day I came in at 8:43. Goal achieved. Next time, sub-8:00. And then, way off in the distance, the top time in our box of 3:29. Dude. Sick.

315!!!

M and I went off to Becky's garage for a WOD on Saturday morning. It was a play on one that we had done earlier in the week at SPARK:

12 minute AMRAP:
3 power cleans (heavy)
6 push ups
9 tuck jumps / 9 ball slams

The AMRAP we had done earlier in the week was 3 pull ups, 6 KBS @ 35# and 9 tuck jumps. I wanted something different than tuck jumps again, which is where the ball slams came in. M went with tuck jumps.

I did my power cleans at 125 and the ball slams at 20. My push ups were Rx'd (yay). I finished with 8 1/3 rounds. Push ups were my slow down factor. Still working those bodyweight movements! This version was definitely a harder AMRAP than the other one, as I came in at 12 rounds before. But, more exciting than the WOD was messing around afterwards.

Becky's husband had a belt in the garage and unlike Becky's at SPARK, his actually fit me. So I figured, hey, why not try deadlifting with a belt? So try I did and boom, got my 315 DL. It was ugly (just like all my other PRs), but it actually came off the ground easier than when I got 310. I think if we hadn't done heavy deads on Thursday and I wasn't post-WOD, I could probably get to 320. I'll give it another try sometime.

In other PR news, I FINALLY got a 100# press on Friday. I was just messing around before class with some presses and decided I'd try it. 100 went up a lot easier than I thought it would, but I couldn't get 105. Hopefully someday soon.

Took a day off yesterday, back at it tonight. Yesterday was also day one off the diet coke; today is day two. Feeling a little bit tired, which I kind of expected. I imagine this week is not going to be the most pleasant, but it's a necessary evil.

I also need to mention that the room darkening experiment is going well so far. In the three nights that we've closed the roll shutters/blinds/added blackout shades, I feel that I'm sleeping a lot deeper. I am actually dreaming again! We'll see if this continues longer term.

All or Nothing

For the last 20 minutes or so I've been googling variations such as "Diet Coke and bad", "Diet Coke and paleo", "why I shouldn't drink Diet Coke", "is club soda paleo?" and others.

I love Diet Coke. Or Pepsi. Or the No Name brand you can pick up at the grocery store. If it's tar black, bubbly and comes in that telltale can or bottle, I love it. If I can pick it up for $1.00 all summer long at McDonald's, I'm down. I know it's bad - terrible, really - but I love the shit.

And I need to give it up. You see, at the end of March I did give it up. For the first six weeks of my paleo adventure, there were no diet sodas. I drank tea during the morning at work and then water the rest of the time. Then it started getting warmer, and the aforementioned dollar days kicked in, and the little voice in my head said "oh, just have one". And it's been getting worse and worse ever since.

Drinking the diets has made it easier for other crappy foods to slip back into my daily life. It's definitely affected my sleep. In fact, I would say that the manner in which its affecting my sleep is worse than it was before I started paleo - by the time I went to bed before, I was ready to just pass out, and I slept soundly, even with the caffeine. In the time I was paleo and off diet coke, I was ready to fall asleep by 10:30-11:00 and sleeping soundly, waking up pretty well rested the next morning. Now I'm still awake at 12:00 (or in tonight's case, 2am) feeling "tired but awake" and am definitely not sleeping as soundly. Last week on the days I was off work I slept in until 10:00 or so, but the last three hours didn't actually feel like sleep. I've been waking up blah. It sucks.

The no name brand soda has been giving me stomach pain. I ACTUALLY CONTINUE TO DRINK SOMETHING THAT IS ACTIVELY MAKING ME SICK. This is probably one of the most ridiculous statements in here, and I shake my head even writing it, but it's true.

The amount of times that "oh, I should just run through McDick's and grab a large, it's only $1" runs through my head is absurd. There have been times I think about altering my route on the way home so that I actually go by one.

I let it sneak back into my life and I am paying for that dearly.

And starting tomorrow, it needs to leave again. It's all or nothing, and I have to choose nothing. One little sip leads to one can, which leads to sucking back soda after soda (free refills!) wherever I happen to be. Food in particular and diet coke especially is one of those things that I really have to be all or nothing with.

You know, the weird thing is that it's not like I actively dislike the taste of water. I can suck it back like a champ too. It's just something about that fizz of the can cracking open, or the bubbles hitting the back of my throat. I am an addict, there's no denying it.

I keep having to remind myself that what I do with diet coke is not normal. Other people do not consume it in this fashion. It is not a water substitute. It is not healthy. The shit in there is gross. I really need to remember that. It's chemical after chemical after chemical.

This article was really good: http://brentscrossfitpaleolife.com/2011/03/09/can-you-get-hooked-on-diet-soda/

So yes, tomorrow once again begins my attempts to kick a horrible habit. This time I need to make sure it sticks.