Emotions...so many emotions

I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. This morning I found out that I messed up on my Provincials declarations. I really wanted to not have any mistakes this year (and mistakes bother me in general) but it bothered me even more because I tried to put in a fail-safe this year of sending all of my Districts a complete list of all the teams declared at every level, asking that they double check everything looked correct. This District didn't bother. Anyways, so I have to make some changes. They aren't that big and they don't ruin anything really, but I broke down in tears. "Why does this bother you so much?" I don't know. Seriously. Because everything is amplified and I'm frustrated. It's tough too, because I have been having a pretty good week overall. I got out on Monday, and then yesterday (although there were some downs yesterday in terms of slips and falls and dogs) and I'm not really having any pain. But bam, EMOTIONS! I watched one girl's v-log of her ankle recovery today. It was 5 months post-surgery and she felt mostly good, but still couldn't run. I'm hoping that I'm different. Both my surgeon and my physio have said all things being equal, playing on Team Alberta is not out of reach for me. Time will tell. Just sitting here growing bone is challenging. From the videos I've been watching, my scars are going to be pretty gnarly. That's going to be pretty rough for me I think. The fresh incisions with the staples in just look so macabre. It looks like I'll go one of two directions next week when I go in for my follow up - there seems to be a 50/50 split between cast and air cast (while still maintaining no weight bearing) for the next four weeks. I'm not sure which one I'd prefer. Air cast means you can take it off, which would make showering easier, but would also mean I'd have to see my scars. Cast would mean I could see my toes. Don't ask, I'm not sure why, but I really like being able to see my toes. I guess we'll see what happens when I go in next week. Still not feeling any pain from my slip last night. I hope that means I didn't do any further damage. It still scares the crap out of me that I did. I miss my lifting already; the last thing I want to do is screw this up and make it take even longer to get back. Or worse yet, never get back at all. Another day down. Few more yet to go.