But Does it REALLY Matter?

One of my physios asked me today if it "really matters" if I'm back this season. Considering she plays high level soccer and we are in a similar age bracket, I was kind of surprised it came out of her mouth. 

Football season is just over two months (May 2-July 5). This year it is slightly extended due to Nationals (July 28-August 2), but that's it. As a team we start practicing in February in the gym and then April outside (obviously I haven't been able to practice...I've gotten to watch every damn one). So two months of playing, three months of practicing (two of which are boring gym shit), and SEVEN MONTHS OF WAITING. That is the life cycle of a football year. So yeah, having gone through seven months of waiting and three months of injury, with an impending two month season before another seven months of waiting begins, it does "really matter" to me if I play this season. Beyond the fact that I'm trying to get noticed for Team Canada, let's also factor in the fact that I am 32. I only have so many good years left as a player. So yeah, it does "really matter" to me that I make the most out of them.

Does it really matter? Yes. It matters. 

When I plan out my lifting cycles, I have certain goals that I am looking to attain. I may not hit them exactly, but you stick the carrot out there, you plan the process, and you see what happens. Here I'm going to deload, here I'm going to hit a max, you plan all of this stuff out. You can't guarantee the destination, but you map your path out. I was trying to explain this today - ok, maybe I don't hit the goal of playing on May 9th (because you can't guarantee the destination) but I don't feel like I have a mapped out path right now and it is driving me insane. I need to know what the next little milestone is, what the steps are to getting to where I need to be. Am I 50% there? More? Less? I just can't do this "oh hey, enjoy the journey" type set up. I'll embrace the journey (because I have to), but I need it quantified. It's just the type of person I am.